Monday, May 26, 2008

The Bush Legacy

George "Dubya" Bush’s legacy will be that he saved us from the prickly, precise and politically correct pronunciation of WWW in internet addresses - Double You, Double You, Double You dot (whatever-the-company) is dot com.

Double You Double You Double You. . . . it’s as painful to write as it is to hear. Can’t it just be dubya, dubya, dubya??? It would be so much quicker. It rolls off the tongue so much better. It saves air time. It leaves much more room for disclaimers, and it reduces carbon emissions!

It would even be easier to just leave off the dubyas entirely. Why not just say (whatever-the-company’s-address-is) dot com? Some companies do it, why not all of them? Well, it is because lots of marketing executives think that the dubyas are important to the advertising message. They think that if they give them as a warning, kind of like a preface, more people will be ready with pen and paper to write the internet address down.

The reality is though that you don’t need the dubyas when you say it, and most of the time you don’t need them when you write the address into the browser line. But it won’t change. They will continue to torture us with the dubyas pronounced with painful elocution – Double You Double You Double You.

Do you know why they don’t say dubya, dubya, dubya? It’s because they hate Dubya. It kills them to have to repeat his name and promote his presidency. By saying Double You Double You Double You they aren’t really saying dubya, dubya, dubya, what they are really saying is, “Bush lied people died. Bush stole the election in 2000 and 2004. Bush brought down Tower Number 7. It was a missile sent by Bush that hit the Pentagon. . . .” They really hate him. They actually call President Bush, “Mister Bush,” and former president Clinton, President Clinton! When they say Misss-ter Bush, they draw it out just a little to ensure that everyone can see the venom dripping off their tongue.

As an aside, do you know where that comes from? President Madison. He too was despised – little guy, dumpy wife, parochial, definitely not one of the elite (even though he is the Father of the Constitution). He also defended us from British bullying in the war of 1812. Anyway, they couldn’t call him President. Nope, instead they called him Misss-ter. As in Misss-ter Madison’s war, or Misss-ter Bush’s war. . . as if Bush or Madison started either of them.

Libs hate Bush and they hate his nickname too, and they hate him so much that they torment us with Double You Double You Double You each time an internet address is given. Their Double You’s to Dubya are the equivalent of Misss-ter to President.

It’s probably an evil plot, but there’s a chance it’s not. Correct pronunciation is hard for Americans, and gets harder depending on which part of the country you are in. In Texas for example they don’t say Double You. They say Dubya, which is how his middle initial became a campaign slogan. Before President Dubya lib Texans even said dubya. In fact, except for internet addresses, no one in America probably pronounces W as Double You. Even in Ecoptopia we don’t. Instead we say Dubayou.

The good news is that as soon as President Bush leaves office, and Senator McCain or, God forbid, Obamakins, takes over the libs will forget Dubya, and go back to the old tried, true and casually American way of saying W. Namely, dubya. If at that time, we drift a little more loose, it is easy to see us going from dubya, dubya, dubya in internet addresses to just plain “Dubyas.” A new word, an accurate word, a Texan word. This will be Bush’s legacy.

1 comment:

Phil said...

W? I thought his middle initials were "AH"!